Teen Titans Las Vegas :UNCUT
by Lumpkin Gangsta
Summary: The titans get bored so they take a trip to Las Vegas. If you like funny fanfics this stuffs for you! Chapter 4 finally added!
1. Chapter 1

A/n: Yo what up bitches. For those of you who don't know me, (Well none of you KNOW me but lets not get hung up on technicalities) I am Lumpkin Gangsta. If you remember my last story it was all about a Disney show (Lizzie Mcguire) and their characters fucking each other. Unfortunately that is not what this story is about. There will be no graphic sex in this story (I'm running out of pen names.) So if you don't like cursing, violence, and ridiculous humor stories or your some loser with no sense of humor (in this case go see a doctor) don't read. So here it is!

_Teen Titans Las Vegas: Uncut, Uncensored and Uncalled for. (So what if Anchorman used that already, I thought of it first, and they used mind reading powers to steal it.)_

It was a normal day in Titans tower. Robin was doing dishes, Starfire was singing along too "Hit Me Baby One More Time" into a hair brush in a bra and short-shorts, Cyborg was kicking some ass in Halo 2, Raven was being her depressing self, in her depressing room, reading a depressing story, and Beastboy was jacking off to reruns of the Rosie O' Donnel show in his room. 

Robin finished the dishes and walked over to a recently installed PA system, and called for a titan meeting in the living room. Unfortunately Robin can't control the volume. So the Titans in Titans tower got their ears split open by the annoying announcement.

CY: "I swear I'm gonna fucking rip that thing out of the wall if he keeps calling these fucking Meetings. (_Please note this is my cheap way of doing dialogue. I can't be bothered with the grammatically correct way. Plus it makes it easier to tell whose talking. Or in this case cursing)_

The team assembled in the living room, all pissed at Robin for interrupting their private time.

BB: So Robin, what could have possible caused you to call this meeting and make me miss episode 112 of Rosie O' Donnnel! This is the one were John Travolta is the guest and they practically make out.

The other titans stare at him.

BB: Not that I care. He he?

RB: Know that Beastboy has shared his disturbing concerns, I have called this meeting so we can play Monopoly.

CY: What the fuck! You dragged me away from my video games just so your queer self can have us play Monopoly!

RB: Hey! The team that plays together stays together!

BB: I think Robin's right! Let's all take a Shower! (Standing up punching a fist in the air)

Everyone except Starfire stares at BB, who sits down giving a weak smile. Starfire however jumps up and naively says:

SF: That is a terrific idea Beastboy! I will go get the towels and everyone meets me in the room of bathing!

RB: NO! No one goes anywhere until we play monopoly. I don't want the team to break up! Therefore, WE MUST PLAY MONOPOLY!

CY: I'm gonna break you're fucking face if you even bring that Monopoly shit into my living room. (Looks down at table, were monopoly board is setup) YOU BASTERD! (Tries to jump at robin but Beastboy restrains him)

RV (Raven): Can we just get on with this. My book was just getting to the depressing part.

RB: I just want the team to do something together so we don't disband. Cause if we disband, I can't look up Starfire's skirt whe------ Er I mean, can't yell TEEN TITANS GO! When we charge into battle. (Smiles nervously but only Raven sends a glare. Starfire was to busy humming a Tamerainian (_A/N: is that spelt right?)_ folk song to hear him.) So lets take turns and try to figure out something we all can do. Cyborg you first.

CY: (mumbles) "take turns?" Why is queer boy the leader anyway? I'm the one with the cool car. (Robin clears throat.) Oh! Why don't we go to the National Buffalo Wing eating contest in South Mississippi!

BB: Dude there is no way I'm hanging out with rednecks and talk about fucking NASCAR (_A/N: might have forgot to mention there are stereotypes.)_

RB: That's out for sure. BB you're next.

BB: One word dudes. "Shower!"

Everyone glares at BB. Except Starfire.

SF: Although I think Beastboy's shower idea would be quite delightful, I can tell no one else does so, How about we travel to my home plant Tamerain.

BB: No way. That place was mad fucked up!

RV: I agree with Beastboy for the first and last time in my life, no Tamerain, but why don't e go down to this depressing café, to listen to some depressing poems?

RB: I don't think so. Only because I have the best idea (stands up with a foolish grin on his face, I say we ------

CY: If it has anything to do with Monopoly, Then you can go and jack off because I ain't doing it bitch.

Robin sits back down with a frown on his face. Thinks for some time, then grabs remote and says:

RB: Let's watch TV for the answer to our problems.

He turns on the TV and flips to the OC.

CY: How is the OC going to help us you bitch!

RB: Not the OC, this show is shit!

BB: NO IT'S NOT. IT IS A VERY ENTERTAINING SHOW THAT TELLS THE STORY OF STRUGGLING TEENS.

The titans' stare at BB who is seething with anger and is sending death glares to CY and Robin.

RV: Is it your job to say stupid shit or do you really have no brain?

Beastboy is about to shout at her but a commercial comes on and Robin tells them to shut up. Grudgingly they both sit back in their seats.

Commercial: Are you a team of superheros looking for something interesting to do so you won't disband?

ALL: yes!

C: Have you not been able to come up with a solution despite everyone saying what they want?

ALL: Yes!

C: Are you sick and tired of your leader trying to get you to play Monopoly, claiming that the team that plays together, stays together?

All except CY and Robin scream yes. Robin frowns at the TV and crosses his arms. Cyborg gets emotional and says:

CY: PREACH MY BROTHER! PREACH!

C: Do you want showers big enough to fit 5, sexy superheros?

BB: YES! YES! YES! TELL ME WHERE TO GO AND I SHALL FOLLOW, O GREAT MASTER OF MY DELIGHT!

Raven puts a black aura around BB so they don't hear him yelling about how this guy was his hero.

C: Then come to VIVA LAS VEGAS! We have workout facilities, (Robin smiles.), We got Buffalo Wings (CY starts singing praises), We got Tamerainian folk songs (Starfire's face lights up), We got a depressing café, with depressing poems being read 24/7 (Raven raises an eyebrow in interest.) And of Course those Showers fit for a KING, Complete with the whole collection of Rosie O Donnel: UNCENSORED!(BB runs to his room to pack his luggage, filling it with clothes, video games and a floppy containing his favorite porn.)

The commercial flashes fantastic pictures. The fantastic pictures mesmerize the titans (DUN, DUN, DUN!). The announcer comes back on and says:

C: Don't let this oddly specific commercial slow you down! Make your reservations by calling 1800-GIVE-ME-MY F-ING-VEGAS-VACATION.

Pack your bags today!

Robin turns off the TV and the titans immediately scatter to their rooms, throwing their stuff into their suitcases. Cyborg dials the phone and makes the reservations.

CY: we can get there? Tonight!……..They'll be a room Ready for us!………Great! Put it under Cyborg and we'll be there by tonight.

(Yells to rest off titans) Get your fucking asses and your luggage to the garage! If you ain't there in 5 minutes your left behind.

The titans rush towards the garage and jampack the T-Car. They all jump in, CY and Robin in the front, BB in between Raven and Starfire in the back. Cyborg blasts some tunes, hits the gas, and goes crashing threw the garage door at 100mph and speeds into the sunset.

A/N: So there it is! The first chapter. This is my first attempt at pure humor, but I think it went OK. It will be funnier in the future, I just needed to establish the story before jumping in. Oh and to anyone who wants to write a fic using the 5 titans taking a shower together, be my guest. I would love to read it! REVIEW, I accept both anonymous and signed reviews, and constructive critics. Flames? I'll use them to make cheeseburgers.

KEEP IT GREASY!


	2. A dark alley and a Road trip

_A/N: What up Bitches! I'm finally back from Disney (I went on vacation with family, boring) As you remember we left our heroes as they were speeding off to Las Vegas, each with their own picture of paradise. The beginning may be a little confusing but it will all fit in soon. Also, an apology, I thought I had already enabled anonymous reviews, but when I checked my profile, it was disabled. So for all the people who are cursing me for not enabling, feel free to review till you can't review no more. _

_And now our feature presentation:_

In a dark alley just outside the Las Vegas Strip. O.K. so it was more like a few hundred miles outside the Las Vegas strip. But none the less it was a dark area, were a big deal was going down between two notorious, infamous people, who need no introduction.

Silly Rabbit: You got the shit?

Fred Flinstone: Of course I got the shit, it's gonna cost you though. I had to butt fuck Barney to get em.

Silly Rabbit takes a step back and lays a suitcase on the ground. He opens the locks to reveal its full of money, Benjamin Franklin's sitting there, as if they were a common Yu-gay-hole, err.. Excuse me, Yu-Gi-OH card. Fred Flinstone reached into his trench coat and pulled out an unmarked box.

Silly Rabbit: OH BOY! Fruity Pebbles!

Fred Flinstone: Shut up, Fuck face, or he'll hear you.

Silly Rabbit: Who? Barney?

Fred Flinstone: No. Worse. The Fruity Pebbles bandit!

And almost as if on cue the window shatters behind them. A dark figure wearing Blue Jeans, A black hooded sweatshirt, Black and red Nikes and a hat, with the (for lack of a better word) beak facing backwards and tilted slightly to the side, so as his right ear was hidden in darkness.

The mysterious man did some fancy moves, grabbed the box of Fruity Pebbles from the bewildered Rabbit and started jetting down the street. Fred Flinstone and Silly Rabbit started running after him.

Silly Rabbit: STOP THAT NIGGA

Fred Flinstone: That ain't no black man. And stop saying the N-word. Your white you dumb fuck.

Silly Rabbit: ONLY A NIGGA COULD RUN THAT FAST.

Fred Flinstone: First off, the Fruity Pebbles bandit is white. Second if you keep saying the N-word, your gonna get shot cause your white.

Silly Rabbit: WHO GIVES A FUCK, JUST STOP THE NIG-----

A gun went off hitting the Rabbit in the back of the head and Bloods and Crypts alike rejoiced at the killing of the racist rabbit. Fred Flinstone just kept running, determined to catch the thief this time.

Fred Flinstone jumped into his car, which although powered by feet, magically went faster then him running.

He was catching up. The Fruity Pebbles bandit needed to make a getaway, he prayed that there would be a vehicle that would help him.

Then in the horizon, the shadow of a car was in the distance. The Fruity Pebbles bandit ran faster towards the car with Fred Flinstone closing in behind him.

Finally the car, which was parked in front of a recording studio, with really bad music coming from it, was revealed.

Fruity Pebbles Bandit: YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING ME! THIS IS THE BEST SHIT YOU CAN COME UP WITH!

He shouted at the sky towards were he sent his prayer or perhaps at the author. Either way the Fruity Pebbles Bandit couldn't believe he would have to ride in that car.

The wind carried a whisper of "TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT BITCH" and the Fruity Pebbles Bandit grudgingly got into none other the HERBIE THE LOVEBUG!

Herbie the Lovebug: BEEP, BEEP!

Fruity Pebbles Bandit: Just shut up and take me to the Las Vegas, were I have a room booked and I'll leave you off at a casino.

Herbie: BEEP

And with that the two rode off and perhaps would have left Fred Flinstone in the dust, if Herbie weren't going the speed limit.

Fruity Pebble Bandit: FUCKING DISNEY CARS.

He switched the controls to manual and slammed his foot on the gas, blasting some conveniently placed toxic waste, into Fred Flinstone, instantly killing him (or did it?), which caused his car to swerve into the recording studio, were Herbie had been parked, cutting off all power, and causing Lindsey Lohan to postpone the production of her new album.

Lindsey Lohan: I just know this was that bitch Hilary Duff's fault! I'm gonna slit that slut's throat.

And with that Lindsey stormed into her limousine, grabbed conveniently placed Butcher knife and headed off to the Duff's house.

Now that we got that random, yet vital and important scene out of the way, let's rejoin the Titans.

BB: Please!

CY: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME! I REFUSE TO PLAY AARON CARTER'S GREATEST HITS IN MY CAR.

BB: hater!

CY: DAMN RIGHT I AM YOU GREEN SHIT! YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THAT CAME OUT OF A CONSTAPATED PERSONS ASS.

RB: Someone is having their period.

Robin had looked up from his traveling monopoly set to alert Cyborg about the Facts of life. Cyborg just rolled his eyes and put CHRIS ROCK: NEVER SCARED in to the CD player.

CD player: (gunshots) this is Thug Radio news, coming straight from Harlem. This is MC Mother Fucker wit da news from da hood.

In Brooklyn, gunshots went off and a nigga got shot

In Queens, a nigga got shot

In LA, a nigga got shot

In Detroit, a nigga got shot

But in Staten Island a nigga ducked, that pussy ass bitch.

SF: Although I find this rather amusing, it is interfering with the listening of Raven and I's movie.

Cyborg grudgingly turned it off and stared out the window wondering why he was the only sane titan (so far). Robin's playing monopoly, Star and Rae are watching a chick flick and Beastboy keeps trying to slip that Aaron Carter shit into his CD player.

SF: A terrific ending to a glorious movie. Friend Cyborg! You are correct. The girl did get the guy she was interested in at the end! Have you participated in the ritual of watching this movie before?

CY: FUCK NO! All that Disney shit ends the same fucking way.

RV: Are we there yet? I need to throw up from the happy ending of this movie.

CY: Nearly.

RV: I thought you said it would take 15 min?

CY: That was before that cop pulled onto the road.

RV: But were the Teen Titans. Can't we just say we need to help someone in trouble?

RB: (Stands up and punches a fist in the air) DID SOMEBODY SAY TROUBLE!

RV: NO! Now sit down before I blow your Monopoly set back to Milton Brothers.

RB: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY MONOPOLY YOU EVIL BITCH!

Robin shields it from her view, and begins stroking it.

RB: Don't worry baby. That evil witch won't bother us once we get to the hotel room. Then we can play a real game.

Robin began kissing the Monopoly set much to the surprise of CY, BB and Raven. Starfire was to busy rubbing her legs to notice, causing herself to get horny.

SF: Umm….. Friend Cyborg? I wish to visit the room of bathing.

Cyborg pulled over, cursing under his breath. Starfire got out of the car, and BB could have sworn he saw her rubbing her tits on the way out.

30 min. later Starfire was walking towards the car, adjusting her skirt.

CY: WHAT THE FUCK? DID YOU FALL IN?

SF: No, I had not fallen into the chamber of waste, but the line was longer than I thought.

Cyborg hit the gas and sped off. But just a suddenly as it took off he hit the breaks, for he was cut off by Herbie the Love Bug and a cop car chasing it.

RB: (standing up heroically) I SMELL TROUBLE.

RV: And I smell a boy wonder that forgot to put deodorant on after leaving the bird domain (that is what Robin calls his room) this morning.

RB: (ignoring Raven) QUICK CYBORG! FOLLOW THAT LOVEBUG!

But much to Robin's regret, Cyborg pull down a street with a sign pointing, this way to hotels. Robin had a spaz attack and attempted to jump out the window, after the Lovebug, but his team restrained him.

Finally after many hours of random shit, the team pulled up to the hotel. They got out and got their suitcases.

Busboy: I'll take your packages to your room as you check.

SF: Thank you new friend (looks at nametag) John! How may we repay you for your gracious hospitality, and helpfulness?

Busboy: Just doing my job! (Perverted smile) But you could---- (stops after hearing Robin crack his knuckles.) Never mind.

CY: We would like to check in please.

Fat Male Clerk: Teen Titans? Ah yes! Room for six! Here your room keys! A member of your party has already arrived.

The titans were so happy they forgot all about the mysterious 6 member of their party. But as they opened the door, a voice came through:

Mysterious Voice: Hello Titans.

_A/N: And so ends chapter 2 of this epic tale! Who is the voice? I know but you can guess in your review if you like. And know some shout outs!_

_Mycookienotyours: Already thanked you in my review for your story (which by the way, his story totally kicks ass). Oh and look for the Rosie o Donnel comeback in the next chapter._

_Gothik chika 877: Glad you liked. Hope this chapter was just as funny_

_Shadowofazorath: Not sure what LMAO is but thanks anyway!_


	3. Indecent Proposal

A/N: What up bitches I'm finally back. With summer coming to a close I figured I'd write another chapter before school resumes its dictatorship over my life.

_This chapter picks up right were it left off._

Mysterious Voice: Hello Titans.

RB: SLADE!

Robin's scream rang out through the night air as the mysterious voice was revealed.

RB: SO YOU'RE THE MYSTERIOUS 6 MEMBER OF OUR PARTY THAT WE IGNORED BEFORE BUT NOW IRONICALLY REMEMBER.

Robin points an accusing finger at the masked menace. Once again wearing that idiotic smile mentioned in previous chapters.

Slade: No, I'm not. I just told those bitched at the front desk that I was to get up here.

CY: What do you want you crazy ass mother fucker.

RB: YEAH! WHAT EVIL SCHEME HAVE YOU CAME UP WITH TO ATTEMPT TO DESTROY US! A SYMBOL OF JUSTICE! THE PRINCES (raven clears her throat) AND PRINCESS OF PEACE! THE DEFENDERS OF MONOPOLY SETS AROUND THE WORLD! TH---

Slade: O.K. I get it. But I'm not here to destroy you. No. I'm here to get something off my chest.

RB: Well get on with it, you're wasting chapter space and getting on my nerves. Now say the BS so I can kick your ass.

Slade: Nobody objects I would to express this in song.

CY: GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU CRAZY CRACKER.

RV: I second that.

Unfortunately the voices of objection went unheard as Slade had already whipped out a microphone and the music was beginning to play.

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,  
I have nobody,  
For my owwnnn  
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely  
I have nobody,  
For my owwnnn  
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my villians out there ya know got that one good bitch whose always been there like ya  
Know took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my bitch wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was  
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz  
Ever since my bitch left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely),  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda bitch like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck  
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good bitch and I had no right, I  
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a bitch that can take the things that you been through  
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u  
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me  
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

At this point the titans are in stunned silence. Slade gets down on his knees and really starts belting out the next few lines.

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing bitch and  
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever  
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)  
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)  
I have nobody (I have nobody)  
To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely  
So lonely, (so lonely),  
Mr. Lonely, so lonely  
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

Slade ends the song on bended knees with his head bowed. He slowly rises and walks over to a stunned robin, gets down on one knee and says:

Slade: Robin. When you left my apprenticeship I tried to get you out of my head but you just wouldn't go. I have come to the dramatic conclusion that I need you. Come with me and we can be an unbeatable team. Robin I have something very serious to ask you.

RB: What?

Slade: Will you be my bitch?

Slade pulls a ring out of his pocket and presents it to Robin. BB passed out in pure shock. Cyborg's jaw hit the ground so hard it made a hole in the floor. Starfire's eyes were glowing green with righteous fury and Raven went to the bathroom to puke her brains out.

5 minutes of awkward silence passes as the Titans wait for a stunned Robin to answer. Finally he takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

RB: This is so sudden. Look Slade. The truth is, had you done this during the 2nd season, I would have accepted this beautiful offer.

Slade: Then say yes! You still can!

RB: I'm sorry Slade but during season 4, I found someone (Starfire perks up). She's beautiful, amazing and loads of fun. (Starfire is so happy she is hovering over BB's unconscious body. Had BB been conscious, well let's just say he'd have gotten quite a view.)

Slade: Who?

RB: I lovely lady by the name of…..(Everybody leans really close to Robin)…….Monopoly. (Starfire drops from the sky land on BB's groin. Raven runs to the bathroom and pukes some more, and Cyborg just stands there, silently laughing.

Slade: FUCKER!

Slade dives at Robin and the two begin to kick and punch. Slade throws a hard right hook but Robin blocks it and nails him with an uppercut with so much force, it knocks him threw the adjacent window. Slade falls a very long way (use your imagination) and falls into a conveniently placed manhole.

Robin walks over to the window leans a hand on the wall and whispers to himself "If only he had asked me in Season 2"

BB: What happened? (Looks up and sees Starfire straddling him in a certain area and passes out again.)

Starfire gets up and walks over to Robin. She draws back her hand and smacks him across the face.

RB: What the fuck was that for?

SF: That was for telling me you love me so you can fuck me, then dumping me for a monopoly set!

RB: (sly grin) you are always welcome to join in!

Starfire gives him a look of repulse and kicks him in the groin, which had I applied her alien super strength, his balls would have been dangling out of his ass crack. But I didn't so it just really hurt him bad.

CY: Let's just check out our rooms and attempt to forget this psychologically scarring moment.

The titans walk to their rooms.

Cyborg opens his door and sees a whole lot of computer shit, with a charger for his battery, and a garage for his car.

Robin opened his room to see that his room is set up like a monopoly board, with a king sized bed on GO. The bed came complete with a blow-up doll of Mr. Monopoly himself.

Beastboy opens his door to reveal a dark room, with the windows boarded up, depressing decor and a queen-sized bed with lavender colored satin sheets. The only source of lighting was (surprise) Lavender scented candles.

Raven opened her door to reveal a king sized bed with green sheets, a huge TV with an Xbox hooked up to it and the rooms best feature, a gigantic shower, fit for 10 people.

BB and Rae just looked at each other and reached a silent agreement to switch rooms.

Starfire opened her door to reveal a king-sized bed with fluffy pink pillows and pink silk sheets. Stuffed animals littered the floor of the bubble gum pink room which contained a platform with a single gold pole running from the ceiling to the floor. (looks like star has a little secret)

The titans walked the hall to the 6th room and stood in front of the door. They were about to open it when they heard a voice say.

Mysterious Voice #2: I believe that is my room.

A/n: Another cliffhanger. Geez does this suck for you the reader. Well I guess it's time to thank those who read AND review.

Napoleon Dynamite Clone: Yeah it was Slade. But don't worry Slade may not be dead.

One Espernadote: Sorry "horny Starfire" was disturbing but I take this as my duty to push the envelope. Hope this chapter was just as funny.

Katie-chan the innocent perv: Monopoly fetish? I like that. Sounds funny. If you are a perv feel free to check out my story on under Lizzie Mcguire

Mycookienotyours: Sadly put his hilarious story on indefinite hiatus to focus on his other stories. I can only wish the fellow random humor fic writer good luck.

Ilovegore: Not much gore in this chapter but hope you like it anyway.

Shadowofazorath: Yeah kinda feel stupid for not knowing that, hope this chapter was LMAO

And to everyone else who is to chicken shit to review thanks for reading.


	4. The really random Chapter 4

Hey guys. I'm really pissed off right now! My fucking computer won't let me open my fucking file for the next chapter, which I had about half way done. So now I have to right the whole fucking chapter over again. So here it is.

The titans turned around to see a male in blue jeans, Black hooded sweatshirt, a backwards baseball hat and a black suitcase, dripping a white substance a.k.a. milk.

RB: Who are you mysterious 6 member of our party who has rented a room under our name and will probably not pay any of the bills.

Mysterious voice: My name is Lumpkin Gangsta.

The Background fades to white and it's just the 5 titans, all sending a glare at the newly revealed Lumpkin Gangsta.

LG: What?

RB: It wasn't enough to write some ridiculous story about us going to Las Vegas and acting like compete morons, but now you have to input yourself into the story so that it can achieve a new level of cornyness. I mean, this is more corny then a Hilary Duff movie.

Lumpkin pulls out a 44 magnum and points at Robin who simultaneously pulls out a bow staff.

LG: What the fuck are you gonna do with a bow staff.

RB: I'm not sure

LG: You have till the count of three too get out of my way.

RB: JUST ANSWER ME ONE QUESTION

LG: Damn bitch you don't need a shout.

RB: WHY THE MONOPOLY FETISH WHY?

LG: Cause the readers like it.

RB: Fuck the readers! Just give me a normal romance, not this monopoly shit.

LG: Whatever. ( The background comes back) By the way Cyborg here.

Lumpkin tosses a glowing ball of black energy at Cyborg, which is absorbed into his hardrive.

CY: Yo nigga what the fuck is that shit? (Cyborg's eyes open wide)

Holy shit nigga! This cracker just gave me back my nigga. I can talk black again. A simple pleasure that was deprived from me from the fucking niggers at cartoon network.

LG: Your welcome. See you guys at end of the chapter, I got pebbles to sell (titans stare)……. I mean crack to sell (laughs nervously)

CY: Save me some fucking crack and you can be on your fucking cracker way.

Lumpkin walks out of the room, too a corner to sell his Fruity Pebbles.

Cyborg, Raven and Beast Boy decide that they have spent enough time in the hotel (about 3 months in author time) and decide to go to a casino. Robin decided to stay behind and watch TV. Starfire stays behind for other reasons.

About ten minutes later Cyborg, BB and Raven are walking down the street towards the brand new Hilton casino.

CY: nigga, nigga, fuck, fuck, cap an ass, suck my dick! All my niggas from the West side of Compton Holla at me!

BB: Would you fucking stop with this gangsta garbage.

CY: Shut up you racist green bitch with a very small dick. OH shit that rhymed. I can rap too! Oh The joy!

BB: So why did Star stay with Robin?

RV: To achieve a new level of intimacy with Robin that she had before Monopoly came into the picture.

BB: Anybody wants to explain on a 4th grade vocabulary level?

CY: She wants to get fucked.

BB: OOOOOHHH!

Back at the hotel, Robin is watching a self-help channel entitled, 10 WAYS TO BEAT YOUR MONOPOLY FETISH, when Starfire makes her move.

SF: So friend Robin, wanna play games? (Starts kissing his neck)

RB: Oh yeah.

Starfire starts taking off her boots, while Robin reaches under the table, picks something up and hold it over his head, screaming:

RB: YAHTZEE!

Starfire sighs and sits back as Robin eagerly sets up his newest fetish, Yahtzee. But neither of them realizes the terrible creatures creeping up behind them, a creature so horrible you won't know what they are until the end of the chapter.

BB: BINGO!

CY: GOD DAMN IT YOU GREEN CRACKER, THAT'S THE FUCKING EIGHTENTH TIME YOU'VE WON!

Our heroes sat in the casino playing one of the not so popular games in Las Vegas, along with Jerry Springer, Nick Carter, and Oprah (with the exception of Jerry they were the first Celebes to pop into my head). Nick is too high of weed that his brother Aaron gave him and passes out. Oprah leaves cursing BB under her breath.

BB: So Jerry where do you get the people for your show?

JS: Well BB that is a good question that I am not at liberty to discuss.

BB: Do you help them with their problems?

JS: FUCK NO! We just drop them back off at the trailer park we found them.

BB: Isn't that cruel and unusual?

JS: Look you little green freak show, If you want to watch some fagot show were people are helped with their problems, watch that fagot Maury.

Just then someone taps Jerry on the shoulder.

Maury: Excuse me, I'm looking for some old basterd, that has trailer park trash hoes fight over toothless guys, that called me a fagot? Know where I can find him.

JS: (stands up) And what is a bitch like you gonna do to him.

About 20 gangsters stand behind Jerry, looking like thugs. About 20 members of the Chinese Mafia stand behind Jerry. Both sides are heavily armed, including Jerry and Maury, who have just took out their machine guns. Maury points to a martini and says:

M: I'm gonna shove that martini so far up his ass it will quench his thirst. (Gotta thank my friend for that last line).

JS: BRING IT ON BITCH

The gangsters and the Chinese Mafia go to the opposite sides of the casino, take cover and start shooting.

BB: You know guys, we ARE the teen titans

CY: No shit, Sherlock

BB: Shouldn't we try to stop this?

CY: Do you wanna be picking bullets out of your ass back at the hotel room?

BB: No

CY: Then I suggest that we just watch from a safe distance and let them cap each other's asses.

After about an hour of shooting and treacherous warfare, many had fallen. About 16 of Jerry' gangsters opposed to just 10 Chinese Mafia. Things were looking bad for Jerry's team.

JS: HUDDLE UP

Jerry and his 4 remaining missionaries, Mike Jones, Lil Jon, 50 Cent and the Tin-Man (wizard of OZ), huddled together and started to come up with a strategy to beat the Maury menace.

JS: OK, Tin-Man, what's the plan.

TM: Why me?

JS: Because you're the one that the Wizard of OZ gave a brain!

TM: No the one with the brain was the Scarecrow you dumb shit!

JS: Whatever, just give me a fucking plan.

He thought for a moment before finally coming up with something.

TM: OK if we want to end this now, the only solution is too kill Maury.

So 50 Cent and I will lead the attack because we are impervious to bullets.

50: Aight nigger

TM: Then Mike Jones and Lil Jon will give us some cover fire.

Lil Jon: YEAH!

Mike Jones: MIKE JONES!

Leaving a lane for Jerry to make the killing blow.

They went off to putt their plan into action.

To make a long story short, Jerry pumped 8 bullets in Maury's head killing him and ending this war, for now.

The titans (except for BB who actual liked Maury a little bit) were about to celebrate with a round of shots when, They heard a loud scream and the infamous TITANS GO! Coming from outside the casino.

CY: Oh Shit! Now we gotta fight crime on this Fucking vacation?

BB: This is total BS.

RV: Ditto

CY: Who the Fuck says Ditto?

BB: a Goth bitch that's who.

But when they went outside they saw the horrible threat. And trust me this threat is so horrible that it was a cause for alarm! Such a horrible threat that you'll have to wait till the next chapter too find out what it is!

OK I was just kidding! You can put the chain saws away, stop the death threats, and slowly back away from the author.

Anyway kidding aside the horrible creatures were in a battle with the Las Vegas police and Starfire, Robin and Lumpkin. It was safe to say the horrible creatures were winning.

CY: HOLY SHIT!

BB: I CAN"T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!

RV: NO WAY!

RB: GUYS HELP! THE CAREBEARS, TELETUBBIES AND BOO-BAHS, HAVE JOINED FORCES UNDER ONE UNIONED LEADER AND ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

And with that the remaining three titans jumped into the fight. Fights so horrible and long that you will have to wait till the next chapter to read about them. Stop laughing, I'm dead serious. There is no just kidding at the bottom of the page. Find out next time to find out who wins, who is the almighty leader and will the next chapter come sometime before Christmas?

Like I said my goal for the next chapter is sometime before Thanksgiving.

Oh and if you know whom the "almighty leader is" or you want to take a guess leave it in the review. If you guess right I'll buy you a cake. But trust me you would have to be inside my head to know who it is. Thanks to all those who reviewed. And to all those that have read but still don't, please do or I will chop your balls (or if you're a girl your boyfriend's balls) off and make them into a smoothie. Not really. I'll just be real ticked off.


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